The Dummy Debate

When I was a nanny (many years ago now!) I remember seeing a big child (probably about 4 yrs old) walk past me in the street holding her mother's hand and sucking on a dummy/pacifier. I clearly remember thinking, ‘That child is wayyyy too old to have a dummy!’

Little did I know that one day, I would have a son as big as that kid who also has a dummy. Ashton just turned 4, and he absolutely loves his dummy. It is a huge comfort to him - particularly when he is tired and wants to rest or go to sleep.

I have considered getting rid of the dummy by simply throwing it away, and I’m sure there are a few who would tell me to get on with it…. but I’ve given it much thought and spoken to lots of mums about it for feedback and I’ve come to the conclusion that I'm not going to throw it away. As a matter of fact, I no longer have a problem with it - even if everyone else does! Whether a child should or shouldn’t have a dummy and for how long, brings about a lot of debate. So, here's my little arguement - FOR THE DUMMY- between me and my blog!

Why is it that society completely accepts a 4yr old walking down the street sucking their thumb…..yet very few accept a child sucking a dummy. A dummy and a thumb serve exactly the same purpose which is COMFORT – the only difference being that a thumb is permanently attached to the child.

So, if you wanted to stop your child from sucking their thumb would you cut their thumb off (since you can’t throw it away). Of course not! So it seems the child who sucks their thumb is treated a lot more fairly than the child who sucks a dummy simply because a thumb can’t be detached.

Despite all the opinions about the dummy I’ve decided the only people who can make the best judgement when it comes to things like this, is simply the parents. They know their child better than anyone else. They are the only ones who really know and understand what their child needs and doesn’t need. We all do something in life to comfort us - even as adults - some choose to eat (like Tony), some to drink (like Tony), become addicted to the TV (like Tony) or to a particular sport (not Tony - in his case, he consideres laying on the couch sport), etc. so why can’t we be more comfortable with what our children choose for comfort?

Honestly, I don’t think anyone has ever seen a child sucking a dummy in the school playground or sucking one when their 20 years old (with the exception of Britney Spears).

Which means I’m not worried about Ashton still having one, because by the time he starts school, he’ll get rid of it on his own for fear of being teased (and learning for himself that he doesn’t need it anymore). Why choose to put up with weeks and weeks (even months) of a miserable unhappy child because his comfort has been taken away!

As with all things though, nearly every parent agrees that we should put restrictions on some of our kid's habits so that they can excersice some level of self control or discipline. For example, I do not ever let Ashton have his dummy in public. If he wants it at home I try to do my best to restrict it to bedtime or resting on the couch. Although, sometimes I don’t have eyes in the back of my head and he gets away with more! Then again, as much as we earnestly try to restrict our children's habits sometimes it doesn't do any good at all (my mother put horrible tasting paste/glue stuff over my left thumb numerous times to stop me sucking it, but I always licked it off no matter how gross it tasted.) I was determined to suck my thumb right up until the age of ten years old until I was eventually ready to give it up and no longer wanted to be teased.

So, the dummy, to be or not to be, that is the question? To each his own and to each, I say "who you callin' dummy!?"

(Tony added this last line. He thinks he should be a speech writer!)