.: Dinner Conversations

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dinner Conversations

Goodness, I feel like I haven't been on blogger for ages. So this morning I have spent the last hour relaxing, reading and enjoying friends' blogs.... and now I'm even going to post something (despite the fact that I really should be putting some washing on, cleaning up the kitchen, taking a quick shower and getting organized to head to the grocery store!).

During dinner we usually discuss things that went on at school that day. But last night was a little different. Out of the blue Hayden (age 9) announces:
"Mum and Dad sexed 4 times to have 4 kids."
This of course caused lots of laughter and funny screwed up faces showing complete disgust!!

I corrected Hayden and told him that the correct way to say it is that Mum and Dad had sex, not sexed.

There was more hysterical laughter until Hayden then says:
"And Ashton, don't you dare ask how you have sex."

Luckily for me he didn't, because Ashton (age 7) was determined to tell me (in a very serious voice) that if you have sex in the city you'll go to jail. When I asked why he said because there's lots of people and kids around. I have no idea where "having sex in the city" came from! Probably TV, not that I've ever let him watch Sex in the City (or have watched it myself).

Hayden then wanted to take the conversation a little further, so I decided it wouldn't hurt to give them a little information.
"Did you boys know that all girls have little eggs inside them and all boys have little worms inside them. When the eggs and worms get together it makes a baby."

That was quite enough information for Hayden and Ashton and they stopped talking about it, but Noah (age 5), who was sitting at the end of the table, lifted up his shirt, poked out his tummy, and said:
"The Mum and Dad put their tummies together and the egg goes into the Daddy's tummy and the worm goes into the Mummy's tummy and then you have a baby!"

That's a pretty good start to the "Birds and the Bees". At least they have some correct information!

4 comments:

Jen said...: This is hilarious! I love how open you were about it. Well done. :)
This reminds me, when we told Ephraim all about "the birds and the bees," he got very wide-eyed and said, "You and dad did that FIVE TIMES!!??" I laughed and said, "Actually many more times than that!" :); May 9, 2012 at 2:07 AM
Taylor and Meredith said...: That was sooo funny Loretta! I had a good laugh reading that. I'm not sure I'm looking forward to those questions though!; May 9, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Jen Kesler said...: So funny!!!!; May 9, 2012 at 3:12 PM
Anonymous said...: You handled it beautifully! I've never heard the 'worms' before, priceless! Hayden was pushing the envelope and got a big surprise! lol :o); May 10, 2012 at 12:52 PM

Funny Comments

Ashton walking into the supermarket quietly whispers to himself: "Please can I have macaroni and cheese, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Ashton: "I want to live with Jesus." Mummy: "Why?" Ashton: "Because he be nice to me and he gives me bread and water!"

Mummy, examining Ashton's legs, and thinking: My goodness, what hairy legs. Ashton, unimpressed with Mummy's examination, pulls away: "Don't touch them. I'm growing Daddy legs!"

Hayden gets upset at Ashton: "Right Ashton, that's it! I'm telling Jesus on you!"

Ashton with a cold: "I'm snotty as a piggy."

Hayden: "The sun is burning my eyeballs."

Hayden: "Mummy, how come your penis is missing?"

Hayden: "I get the bigger piece of cake because my skeleton is bigger."

Hayden (3yrs old) sees me get dressed in the morning and stares at my breasts with a confused look..."What thooooose be for???"

Hayden: "I don't want to finish my pizza, it's got blood all over it."

Hayden: "Ashton hit me in the heart."

Hayden learns the planets at Preschool: Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Penus!

Hayden (shopping with me and whining): "My brain hurts forever because you haven't buyed me anything."

QUOTES

Like the changing leaves of fall...My little boy is now a man.
--Author Unknown

Boys are God's way of telling you that your house is too neat!
--Author Unknown

There never has been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son.
--Author Unknown

Boys are found everywhere - on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
--Alan Marshall Beck

Something For A Giggle....

I Owe My Mother ....

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!