.: FUNNY CONVERSATIONS

Saturday, November 25, 2017

FUNNY CONVERSATIONS

Funny conversations this week between Noah (age 10) and Juliet (age 6) as we are driving home from school;

Juliet: Noah, punch me in the face!

Noah: Okay. (Pow! Noah takes her literally and gives her a good punch on the side of her face which immediately results in tears and sobbing from Juliet.)

Noah: What, Juliet!!!! You told me to punch you in the face, so I did.

Juliet: I didn't mean in the side of my face! I meant in my mouth to make my teeth fall out.

Juliet was exited this week to discover that her two front teeth are a little wiggly. She wants them to fall out so she can have big teeth like her friends Paz, Reed and Jessica. But she learned a valuable lesson about talking to her brothers; never asked to be punched in the face. And, when you communicate with boys, your words mean exactly what you say!

2nd Conversation:

Mum: Hi, Juliet. How was your day? Did you eat all your lunch today? (She rarely eats any of the food in her lunch box because she'd rather play at lunch time.)

Juliet: Yip, I did! I ate everything.

Mum: Wow! Really! That's great.

Juliet: But, I was still a "l...i...t...t...l...e" bit hungry so I just ate my snot.

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Ashton walking into the supermarket quietly whispers to himself: "Please can I have macaroni and cheese, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Ashton: "I want to live with Jesus." Mummy: "Why?" Ashton: "Because he be nice to me and he gives me bread and water!"

Mummy, examining Ashton's legs, and thinking: My goodness, what hairy legs. Ashton, unimpressed with Mummy's examination, pulls away: "Don't touch them. I'm growing Daddy legs!"

Hayden gets upset at Ashton: "Right Ashton, that's it! I'm telling Jesus on you!"

Ashton with a cold: "I'm snotty as a piggy."

Hayden: "The sun is burning my eyeballs."

Hayden: "Mummy, how come your penis is missing?"

Hayden: "I get the bigger piece of cake because my skeleton is bigger."

Hayden (3yrs old) sees me get dressed in the morning and stares at my breasts with a confused look..."What thooooose be for???"

Hayden: "I don't want to finish my pizza, it's got blood all over it."

Hayden: "Ashton hit me in the heart."

Hayden learns the planets at Preschool: Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Penus!

Hayden (shopping with me and whining): "My brain hurts forever because you haven't buyed me anything."

QUOTES

Like the changing leaves of fall...My little boy is now a man.
--Author Unknown

Boys are God's way of telling you that your house is too neat!
--Author Unknown

There never has been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son.
--Author Unknown

Boys are found everywhere - on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
--Alan Marshall Beck

Something For A Giggle....

I Owe My Mother ....

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!